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In Her Own Words – A new series of stories by and from our residents

Trigger Warning: This poem is written by a former resident. The images of the hand-written poem are displayed in the picture. The words and spelling are reproduced as written. We have concealed the identity and all identifying names of the author at her request.

September XXXX @ 4:49am

(Former Resident) 12 Years Old

Where are you? Im not okay?
Since the day I was born
It was never your intention
to stay
Why’d you do me this way?
now all my days are gray
no matter how much
I pray.
You’ll never change.
Why dont you love me
I cant remember the last time
You huged me.
Is there something wrong with me
Why dont you want me?
Dad died and you came in
to destroy me…
I still see there faces
I still fill there hands
how could you let me get hurt
by a grown ass man?!!
I feel like Im curse
Curse with the painfull memories
of them.
12 years old.
You would leave me out in the
cold.
I felt scared and alone
Sleeping in the dark I’d knock for hours
I remember the shower
where you’d beat me
with a broom stick
You’d always aim for my hips & lips
Calling me a slut
Telling me to shut t’f up!
Sitting on the cold tile floor
Crying But not to loud
Cause if you heard crying
You’d come back for more.
.. I remember being hung(ry)
days I wouldnt eat
waking up out of my sleep
because my stomach was empty
Ask you for money
Only for you to yell go away
Slamming the door in my face
I was only 12 years old.
How am I supposed to r
4 kids on my own?
I had no choice.
I stayed and let you
Brake me
and make me feel worthless.
at the time I guess I rather it
have been me and not them
So I took it.
Only for you to choose a
man over me
and kick me out on the streets.
A bag of clothes and 5 dollars
Not knowing where to go
4 years on the Run
Lost and confused
Broken and still bruised
4 years of drug use, domestic violence,
Living in tents, almost dieing, overdosing
waking up in alleys, so dam lost
Trying to hide from you.. but,
You never came for me.
You never tried to save me.
You never looked for me.
You never gave a f*** about me.
I still cant understand why?
All I ask is why?
When it comes to you…
Im in a place, where I feel safer
away from you.
Its torcher to see your face
I get reminded of that horrible place.
Where you used me to realse all
your pain.
Im no longer apart of your game.
Me and you are not the
Same
Im better Im amazing Im a good mom!
You been feeding me lies all a long
Making me feel like I dont belong.
I have my son Im no longer alone.
You may never admit what you
did
and thats what makes me sick.
but know this
I was only a kid 12 years old
theres nothing for me to
admit
I pray and hope one day you
take responsibility
for everything you did!!

I love you but please keep your
distance.
its time I start to live ♡

Epilogue: This teen mom is now living a self-sufficient happy life with her children. She recently wrote to us, “reading this poem is so strong it makes me sad reading it but also happy cause I’ve come so far”. She and her children are still a part of the Mary’s Path family.